I don't fancy SNSD but TAEYEON is <3!!!!

Yesterday night was a bad one for me. I was surfing the net as usual using my phone when suddenly a rush of emptiness and sadness just overwhelmed me. Began thinking about all sorts of stuff and i felt really bad about myself- how i carry myself, how i look (!!!!), what abilities i actually possess, etc. The moodswing was so awful, i just felt like sleeping straight away for the rest of my life and not waking up to see myself in the mirror. But hahaha, slept until 1 pm today and i feel million better! Well enough to use the lappy anyway hehe. Yesterday i didn't even wanna go online to see all the pictures of beautiful people. I think i've got some real self-esteem issues.

I can't wait for after os! I've been saying that repeatedly on fb twitter whatever, but seriously, after os i'm gonna give myself a new look man. New hair colour, new hairstyle, make-up and new awesome clothes! Time to throw away all my conservative good-girl junk. I deserve it after years in sec sch having my fringe pinned up!?!?!

Don't get me wrong, i loooooooove council, but it's the rules and regulations i have to follow that makes my head turn. Thank god it's all over. I definitely don't miss the times K and the others had to remind me of my skirt. Throughout the years i'm well-known to be a pro skirt-folder man hahaha. Ir always ask me to teach the girls how to fold properly if they want to. Fun times. :D (names hidden to protect identity. Don't want them to get into trouble like i always do. I must be the worst PE director ever! Sorry Winnie, Moses, Cheryl, i've let y'all down. :( )

Okie i shall leave the mushy 'thank you's and 'sorry's for after os! Now is not the right time 'cos i'm supposed to be studying for bio in the airport since 3 pm like i promised myself to but here i am? I hate myself for compromising so much, i must stop! Just because there is one major paper left only (plus three other mcqs and shingz- lol stop with the Ris Low jokes already- chinese), i find my brain in the play mode already! Not good not good. I wanna include bio in my l1r5 y'know....just because i screwed amath and physics up my ass.

SO WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!

Ps. PPB posted a very awesome idea. Sec 4s dance 'genie' for farewell? I know it's kinda girly-sexy and all but it's gonna be sooooooooooooo nice. Those who saw this don't pretend not to ah! Lovelovelove.

Lazy iris- no longer an oxymoron!

Four hours ago my mom pulled me out of bed, saying if i don't, i'll fail two papers. Three hours ago i'm still choosing the clothes for the day while dancing around my room. Two hours ago i told myself that i must stop lazing in bed after being fresh and clean, and get my ass out of the house to study. One hour ago i saw the lights of my bro's laptop blinking. He did not switch it off! A little peek at some blogshop won't hurt....

FML. I'm such a freaking sloth, sometimes i really can't stand myself.

Where shall i go now to study? I was considering the airport but er, betcha it'll be packed with kiasu o level students like me. I don't wanna go to loyang point's or white sand's mac 'cos they are such boring and energy-draining places. Went to loyang point's branch on sunday night with I and my my, i wanted to just nap there after 30 minutes man. It's not because i'm sleepy or anything- i'm like, a night person, it's the ambience there that makes me drowzy. All the lil' kids running around, knocking into me occasionally, the loud chatters of almost everyone, etc. I can fall asleep in two extremes- the very quiet, and the very noisy.

Anyway os have been alright SO FAR. I'm so not looking forward to the doing of the physics paper tomorrow and seeing a F9 for the subject on my o level cert.

Opps my mom's back i needa go or she will nag nag nag again!! BYE.

Assumption of the human mind.

Hello long time no post! Olevels are arriving really soon....it's on monday! Omgz i'm very very scared 'cos i know i'm not prepared at all. :<

Anw y'know the compo i wrote for next year's compilation i talked about a long time back? Ok maybe i didn't blog about it, but the thing is it got published in the draft compilation. Supposedly i should be happy but when i reread it again even i got the wrong idea myself!

People seriously....that compo was composed like what, months and months ago? It's totally history. Besides then i wasn't even in the dwelling mode when i wrote it. It was meant to be REFLECTIVE and the experience so happened fitted the title. So don't assume ok? I already have people telling me cheer up and all. Thanks for all your concern but i'm really ok. I've already gotten over it a couple months back.

BTW IT'S JUST AN ESSAY? Why get all real about it man....just because i used his name it doesn't mean i'm still hanging on then. Get that right please! Anw it's probably no one's business 'cept mine if i'm still holding on or anything isn't it? If you're one of my closer friends then alright, but if you're just an acquaintance then er....don't you find it a little too nosy to be caring about how a stranger feels when he/she is writing a compo? Hahaha i'm sure those ppl get the punch.

No offence. But i'm just really really annoyed. Y'know i hate sweeping judgements right, like i've mentioned a million times....lol. Okie that's all. Updated for this purpose only actually hahaha kinda lame. Won't be posting anytime soon, olevels!!!! Wish us all luck yeah? Love!

Simple joy.

I'M REALLY HAPPY 'COS THREE OF MY BIRTHDAY WISHES ARE GRANTED!!!! V IS SENSIBLE ENOUGH NOW TO REALISE AND STOP, D IS FINE AND M IS BACK!!!! If I is much happier then it will be perfect, but YAY YAY YAY. BETTER THAN NOTHING! THEY ARE MY LIFE, AND THEY ARE AWESOME, SO THAT MEANS MY LIFE'S AWESOME!!!! HEHE~~~~

Nobel prize for world's most lazy person- ME!

Ok i'm done deleting and opening all my mails already. Just two days of not checking and there are like what, 200 + emails? Anw i'm here 'cos blogging calms me down. Nowadays i'm rather angsty, i don't know why!

Today i was planning to wake up super early to head down to school. I completed the first task of being an early bird, yet i can't go to school at all. It sucks when things happen and other more important stuff at this point of time are at stake. I hate this!!!! It makes me feel guilty tho' it isn't really my fault. Then again, after this matter blows over (ok actually i'm not even caring now) i can save the time of travelling from school back home, and just immediately start on my work!

I've been trying out different locations to study at home since the start of the year. The kitchen, the study room, the living room, my hall, my bedroom, my eldest bro's room....none of them seem to work for me 'cos there will always be something there in the place to distract me and make me lose concentration and drive to do work. So i turned to going out to study, but it's really expensive y'know....'cos you are kinda obligated to buy something from that cafe or whatever when you study there. Like starbucks! I used to looooooove going to the branch in simei to study daily after school. However i soon got bored of the same environment, the drinks, the same people. It's very mean i know, but i get wasted very easily and being around the same old speeds up the shortening of my attention span. (Don't ask me to go to the library 'cos i will fall asleep from the silence.)

So i decided to try home again. What place is better than the comfort of your own home right? A few days back i found out that my concentration works best in breezy cozy-feelie places:


My secret haven! Well, used to be....

Sadly the usefulness of this place wore out after one try. I know 'cos when i tried studying there again yesterday, i ended up sitting on the swing and singing old ballads to my neighbour's cat, who sneaks into my house every night btw. Now i am back to square one. This really sucks!! I need to study yet no place seems to be suitable....actually there is but i don't think it 'll be appropriate to go back there i think? Haha.

Anyone has any suggestions on which locations will be suitable and available for me to mug there? My requirements are: not too quiet like the libraries, no distractions like free wireless & bigass technology, aircon/cool air a must! (i can't take humid places, i will die), not too crowded like busy cafes- best is no one 'cept me and one or two geeks, nice atmosphere!! I think i need way more than those requirements to get my brains working full force but if i add on someone will tell me to go to heaven instead, and that's not very possible isn't it?

Ok meanwhile i shall use the computer till letsay....12.30 pm? I haven't touched the com in ages! I miss it so much hahahha. And then i SHOULD start on my bio tys. I finished physics and chem already but somehow i feel it's not enough 'cos i didn't get anything drilled into my head. BYE TOODLE NOODLES! I wanna eat subway again. :( fatness ttm (to the max- so stop asking me what it is!)

16. NC 16. Legal 16!

Thank you everyone for the awesome birthday wishes through text, fb, calls, cards and face-to-face! And major hugs to those who gave me gifts; i love them all! The highlight is definitely:


With plenty of push-up and a matching undie too, hahaha! The set is kinda kinky and interesting, really made me laugh a lot when the clique forced me to try it on in front of them. Very embarrassing y'know!! With teachers and students walking past the mt room we were in.

Nevertheless i had fun today, seeing that it's near o levels period. Love y'all man. :D the card, though with a boobilicious storyline, was awesome, thanks to the millions!

Lastly, HELL, I AM 16!!!! Legal for sex hahaha. (Okie for those conservative people, i'm kidding~~~~) y'know i was worrying about my birthday for days 'cos i got this feeling that no one will wish me....i'm a rather high-maintenance girl lah! I need appreciation and reassurance in great deals, sadly. :( how can i ever find a bf that will tolerate me!

I wish for my laziness to disappear until after my last paper of o levels. I wish V will wake up and be less childish. I wish I will be happier, and will find a gf who loves him like how __ did soon. I wish D will stop crying. I wish M will come home. I wish REON will be a success. I wish my o level results will be way better than i expect them to be. I wish the next bf i have will be the one hahaha.

I am such a greedy girl, the candle fairy won't grant my wishes i suppose. :( whatever, i'm going to sleep. There is still 2 compos waiting for me to be written by tomorrow 8 am. I'm screwed, yet i'm going to zzz. Wish me luck!

No matter how many times i cried today, i'm still a happy 16 year old iris! YAY. :D

Curiosity killed the cat.

Nah y'know what? I shouldn't stoop down to your level at all....you already feel guilty as it is from me scolding you and that is a good enough punishment. I'm still angry, don't need to wish that my fumes will simmer 'cos they probably won't for a very long time. What do you expect? You invaded my privacy, and i really don't care if it's a moment of 'curiosity' or 'foolishness', 'cos you thought of the consequences way before and you didn't stop yourself from hacking into my accounts, which i don't understand why.

I will forgive about the mood being spoilt, i will forgive about the invasion of privacy....but rest on the fact that I WILL NEVER FORGET. I trusted you yet this is what i get. How am i going to put my faith in other normal friends again?

Sometimes i wish i will be less forgiving y'know? And start thinking about my right to be angry. However somehow i can't do it....thanks for making me feel so horrible over again. Just a few days to my birthday and you have to do this to me....

'Twins': double the wackiness, double the birthday joy!

Wished them on fb and thru' text already, but thought it'll be nice to send them my regards everywhere, haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAAC (ECCENTRIC LOL) AND KODI- THE EVIL TWINS HEHE!~~~~ (Wanted to enlarge the fonts but i'm using my phone to blog and blogger doesn't have that mobile awesomeness yet. Oh wells. :<)

"Coffee, tea, or ME?" "Coffee or tea, just not you." HAHAHA inside joke!!

Wouldn't it be nice if you had someone to cuddle and be all comfortable with on bad days? Guess i'm feeling kinda lonely now....i hate this! Not like i am planning to 've someone else to intrude into my life at this point of time, but sometimes i reminisce a bit & get all emotional.

No worries B, if you 're reading this, i'm long over it lah lol! Ages ago already....if i'm still hanging on then there's something really wrong with me man. I even 've a crush now hahaha. But it's just a momentary crush, nothing major i guess. Just like a crush on an idol y'know. :>

Ok this is a totally lame thing to talk about for a post after a week of not blogging. Had a post just before this but i deleted it 'cos its boringness irks me. I can't stand stuff that i get tired of v. easily on my blog for i read my posts over & over again when i'm idling....i think it's pretty common among bloggers. It's sort of a subconscious thing? After posting something i'll reread a couple of times before & after publishing to ensure there 're no spelling errors whatsoever. I just hate mistakes in grammer and sentence structure, etc, from myself. I expect a lot from my english i know....haha.

Yeah in case you haven't noticed, i'm v. influenced by osf's typing style & everything. I think it's seriously unique, and once i pick up some, i can't stop 'cos it's so cute!! The endless '....', '!!' and shortforms are a started craze from her. Love it! She's my blogging idol manz, besides xx.

Ok i gtg finish up my physics tys year 2001, chem tys year 1999 (new book yay!) & bio tys year 2003 & 2004. Actually i was planning to do the compo on hope/optimism/confidence and chiong some coolio math but i need my beauty sleep for tomorrow too! It's the last day of school for us graduating students before we break for our self-studying so our class is taking pictures (confirm one man!) with our awesome new class hoodie which screams "fabulous!". The back has 'NO TIME ALREADY'- famous quote by our lovely form teacher!

Indeed....no time already! I need to be kiasu like hell now and complete everything if not i will appear like a polar bear tomorrow in the photos. Not cute! 2 am plus now....how am i ever gonna finish!! :<

Alright alright bye bye.

Fame!

You should all already know, i didn't blog so it means that i went back to school. Yes i did! And boy am i glad and relieved to know that i had not missed out on much!

Anyway today i caught a movie, Fame, with the clique (L, WC, J, I and WJ- just feel like putting initials all of a sudden... I know for a fact that WC doesn't like his name appearing on the world wide web numerous times 'cos he's a very *gasp* conservative person, hahahahaha. I'm sure most will disagree with me!). It was rather awesome in my opinion, but L, WC and J didn't like it as much as I, WJ and i did. Awwz. We wanted to watch Ugly Truth but I and i didn't get pass the age barrier. Only less than a month till we turn 16 man, i don't understand why they have to be so strict!


The Marc guy in the show has very nice eyes!! So long never see mesmerizing eyes already, they always make me feel warm and fuzzy, and somehow everything seems to be in place when i stare into such eyes... I need my fix man. ~~~~

So yeap, the movie is seriously good. I think all the music music people like me should catch it for it has some pretty cool life lessons in there. Everything about the passion and fun in music, i can totally relate to them! Teared at various parts of the show 'cos i guess i can understand the depth of the conversations shared. Lol i kinda make no sense i think. If you decide to watch it and in the end you think it is a waste of your time, i am really sorry yah? I can help it if we have opposite tastes.

After the movie I, WJ and i went to dine at ajisen while the other 3 went home. I had a great time chatting with them, it makes the dining experience brighten up to the thousands. The ajisen people were eyeing us down like hawks 'cos they were closing and they kept coming up to remind us we had 5 minutes left. Seriously people, can we like, finish our noodles first? Poor WJ got scammed... His octopus ramen was replaced with crabstick ramen for the same price because i think they had no octopus left. The staff didn't even bother to tell us about it and just changed it can!! What happened to their service man... It used to be alright. I am never going back there again.

Omg i have been so angsty nowadays. I need to chillz like how i have been telling a lot people to. I can't wait for after o levels! I have mountains of things to do. The first is to open a big tub of sinful ice-cream and pig out, like I told I and WJ. Haven't been able to do that before 'cos i am always so weight conscious and honestly, i don't really adore ice-cream to death like others. But after os i can run for 10 km (haha ENg! Inside joke) the next morning after finishing the dessert. Awesome or what. ;>


My brothers have been tempting me a whole lot with this, knowing that i won't touch it during my exam period lest it aids the stress to make the pimples multiply. I am soooooo gonna gulp it all down in a night after os! Heck the prom five days later. ~~~~

Ok i got to go, my eldest bro is back demanding the lappy back at his best. I am ignoring my second brother currently 'cos he is stupid, dumb, ridiculous, lies and has no brains.

All you need to know about a person suffering from... STOMACHACHE. Kuakuakua.

Hi ok i skipped a total of two and a half days of school this week. Tuesday was because i overslept which is pretty much dumb and retarded; yesterday's half and today's whole day were because my diarrhea and puking refuse to leave me alone. Was initially planning to go to school at 2.30 pm for sciences night studies, but what J said is really coming true. She said "if your anal is burning then don't come lah" or something to that extent. That is not happening almost literally but close haha!!

Still considering whether to attend night studies later... Yes/no? If i don't go then i will miss out damn a lot, yet if i go in such an awful state i might as well don't go 'cos i simply won't do anything productive. Shucks, at a crossroad here.

My tummy still hurts like mama effing crap!!!! I screamed at my mom yesterday afternoon to exchange stomachs with me 'cos it really pains me to no end. Yes i know selfish. Sorry lah but it is really hurting me worse than my rheumatism man. At least the rheumatism gives me constant pain so i will feel kinda numb after a while but this stomachache has bloody moodswings!! Very irritating you know, give me high hopes that it is finally gone then after a few secs it comes back and punches me in the stomach again.

And everytime when the stomachache is over i tell myself to be more hygenic and wash my hands before eating chips, etc, but after some time i just subconsciously don't remember what i swore to myself to do. Maybe i am the only ashamed weirdo who is so heck care about what she put into her mouth... Now i pay my price of laziness!

I find sitting in the toilet waiting for the climax of the diarrhea (those people who got that kind of stomachache before you should know what i mean. A lil gross lah but yeah...) wasting time, honestly. I rather be hurting and jumping in my seat like i am now, doing something more effective than sitting on that bowl, while waiting for the climax of the pain. This entry is taking ages to type 'cos i simply don't have much energy. Just wanna post all this crap so that everyone can learn from my mistake of not being hygenic ENOUGH which caused such agony in the end. Lesson learnt!

Yeah ok i think i need the loo now so if you can excuse me... I think it's better i tell people about my state now than them assuming all sorts of disgusting and tease-worthy stuff. I am honest and buay paiseh like that lah.

Like death warmed up.

Omg today must be the unluckiest day ever for me! Stomachache, vomitting spree, cold sweat... Yadayadayada; must be the crap snack i ate in the morning. Still SOMEONE chooses to piss me off when i was already in such a terrible state by mocking me for hogging the cubicle for a long time. -_- Jesus, it wasn't even that long for someone who is suffering from diarrhea and hello, you mean your shit smell like a bed of roses ah? I don't understand how some people can be so insensitive.

Nevertheless! Bigass thanks to J for accompanying me and my sounds of pain in the general office till my vain mummy finished her make-up and then came down to pick me up. :>

I'm kinda glad that the flooble tagboard in my blog is down because i won't really have to worry so much about what the nasties can flame me of anymore. I just adhor it when people stroll along, put their feet down and sweep off with a quick judgement just from reading a few posts from my blog. Since when is angry equals to being bitchy? It's very annoying to have to defend myself all the time you know... And i can't possibly feign ignorance and let the meanies stab me right front as if i am a dead piece of meat right! So many people out there who are more evil than me, and more scheming than me, yet i get all the shots 'cos only i am true and straightout honest?? Where is the justice in this world then, you tell me!

The world is so corrupted. Everyone has some evil in them somewhere somehow but majority just delude themselves everyday into believing that they are the kindest person on earth. Daddy told me recently that without beliefs and without religon, the whole damn globe will be commiting crimes and being the black side that they earn 'cos they are not scared of going to burning hell anymore for there will be no such thing without religon. How true. Maybe that's one of the reasons why i don't want to commit myself to any faith. I want to be a good person for my own principles, and not for not suffering in hell.

But sometimes it's so hard to stay neutral to everything said about me. I am still very angry with those TWO (or maybe more lah, i dunno) who warned E against me. I respected them sincerely, ONCE i really thought they were nice people; they smile broadly in front of me, yet when my back is turned they throw daggers in it. Thanks for nothing.

You two don't even understand me right?? You two don't know the state my family is in now, how i have been trying to accomodate some of my friends altho' they are using me nonstop, my grades, my everything, blah blah blah... Do you know both I and V asked me how i will react to them smoking? Don't give me bullsh*t like "oh let them be lah, they happy can already", try having your own -------- tell you such crap. See that's the point, you guys don't think about others' feelings, you just like to make passing comments. I care for them ok, and i care for so many people until i lose myself, so that makes me a bitch? Yeah ok ok you guys win, i bo wei kong. Super sian of repeating my fury again and again.

Sorry a lil' cuckoo now due to my tummy still hurting ttm, thereafter rambling nonsense. Feel very shitty nowadays, don't mind me seriously. I should really stop all these assed up burdens, it's pulling me into dark holes. Wonder if starbucks blueberry muffin will do me any harm further from this pain (of the stomachache)...


*salivate salivate*

I don't think i mentioned this before- V is currently working full-time at starbucks while awaiting my batch's poly admission (yeah he dropped out of jc. Whatever lah, at least he showed visible happiness now having this long year break so i'm not very angry about it anymore). Super cool lah, all their courses and the way they handle stuff. He even brought home free goodies from starbucks for us all to try, very awesome! Reckon i am going to work at starbucks too when o levels are over and done with.

V is now undergoing training, but once he's done with it around next week, he is going to be working in the airport terminal transit (not telling which terminal tho')! Can get me duty-free stuff like perfumes for my birthday, which is coming yay, finally!! Hate hatez, 'cos my eggcrack day is very very near o levels, like around 12 days apart? I know i shouldn't expect much for my birthday since, but i really wish for the last birthday in dunman to be memorable. Ah too bad for me. :<

Okay i think my stomachache is gone now and i promised myself to study once it settles so i guess this is gooooooodbye. ~~~~

P.s. it's probably no surprise/secret anymore as i'm totally leaking out too obvious hints everytime i tweet or blog, therefore here it is- http://reon.tumblr.com/! L's and my online boutique for post-os. Nothing special up yet but we will be finding good reliable suppliers once our exams are done and over with! Any recommendations email me at brainnnn@hotmail.com (my old blogshop, which is gone, email). Thanks all!

Studying = boring = me. :<

I was napping on the sofa from around 7 pm when my dad woke me up by attempting to carry me up to my room to sleep instead. Now i can't sleep at all, oh greatz.

Didn't do any work today and duh of course i feel super guilty about it. Exams are coming in a month yet i dont see a progress from my prelims standard, which is awful. I should probably get my lazie ass up from the bed now and mug a lil but i feel damn bumped out whenever i do work! I seem to give myself excuse after excuse not to study all the time... How????

Currently i am like the world's boring person cos all i ever blog about is my journey of horrendous muggation. Okay maybe the one being really boring is studying itself but I seriously need a life more than mugging right now man! I can't wait for post-Os. I will play till i crack and get sian of it.

Okies, this has been a lame sluggish and totally randomz post. I am becoming mundane like books, noooo!

Bai.

I need a new earpiece!

Heeeeeeeellooooooo. :>

It's been one hell of a long and taxing week. Haven't been sleeping much because of the mounting stress. Thank god it's Friday and English night studies was cancelled, or I would probably not have survived. Something occuring in my life currently is bothering me nowadays, too. It's too personal to divulge, so my lips are sealed.

Here are three pictures to colourize this boring blog.



At Christy's place a few weeks back, I think.



At the MRT platform after.



And Leon's and Mark's (the Jesus boys- inside joke) birthday celebration! We were doing the cross sign in the photo, hilarious yeap?

Sorry about the gross cake dudes. Mark was super lucky, he didn't get trashed by the cake, unlike Leon, who already had 'bird shit' (inside joke again) on his hair. The whole gang had to spend half of the recess getting the glubs out in the gents. Very funny, 'cos many guys were wanting to use the toilet but Joy, Deb and I were inside. Hahaha, sad for their bladders!

Tomorrow is going to be busy. Biology class, choir alumni practice (URGH!), meet-up at night and studying overnight at Wei Chong's place. More may be stuffed in last minute... Gonna be so wasted by Sunday morning. :<

One last note before I head off to practise a lil' of Under Linden: I am extremely eggcited about REON! :>>>> Leon and I got many lines already so look out for more details on that after Os! It's going to be so awesome to start during the November hols!

Alright toodle noodle, g-t-g. Take care!

I don't trust in fate, so they are only pure coincidences.

<3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST BESTIE- LEON!!!! <33333333