Date : Sunday, July 05, 2009
Time : 9:49 PM
Title : He needs happiness. Why won't anyone give him that?

Hello!

Friday was Chinese O level oral, the atmosphere was tense, I cracked a lot of jokes which made Leon laughed like siao, one examiner was nice, the other wasn't, and the actual oral in front of the two was horrible 'cos I stumbled like hell (it really helps if you are a guy and you have great eyes 'cos the teachers were so mesmerised by Dao Wen, we all can tell from afar). Full stop. I don't wanna brood over it anymore 'cos it's no use. The marks won't come to me even if I bawl. But I can say officially goodbye to my distinction. Zzz.

Today's jamming is postponed to tomorrow- Youth Day! I am very nervous, 'cos most of the songs temporary-Uniqlo is covering are songs from the Jap anime K-on, so they are all pretty girly in sound. I can't sing like a little girl!! And I don't know Jap!! Joycelyn, Noel, Isaac and Kim Meng are going to help me (thanks guys), but seriously, Jap?! But. Me joining the band is not confirmed tho'. I still have Estee's band as a keyboardist, which is not confirmed. If it's confirmed then I will have to decline the temp-Uniqlo offer 'cos a promise is a promise. Haah.

And really, we need a real name for the band man! Uniqlo sounds very gross and it is copyrighted. (Randomly joked by WC.) Everyone can't seem to decide on a name. Noel said The Last Order, I said Composition Zero, Kim Meng wants something with Legacy in it and Isaac is okay with mine or anything with Zero and a word related to arrangement. Haha. Sianzor, everybody have different opinions. Oh god, give us unity!!

So I totally skipped Biology SPA Skill 3 practical, jamming in school and Math consultation yesterday 'cos I overslept till around 2 pm. I felt like a pig man. But at night at about 9 pm my parents and I went on a food hunt to Upper Serangoon Road to search for Bakers House, which was advertised on one of the gormet shows on Channel 8. We took an hour to find it, inclusive of transport to UPR itself, 'cos my mom was driving and she drove very slowly as she just learnt driving around 2 to 3 weeks back. When we finally found it (it was located inside a whole load of terrace houses, very isolated), there was a sign on the door that said everything is out of stock!! The TV advert really does wonders.

However, the lady gave us her last three cakes- two chocolate truffle and one mango- to take home for $10 only! And each cake was the size of a tissue box base! Awesome or what man! She let them out to us although she initially planned to bring them home to eat. So nice I tell you. :D When I reached home after supper, I immediately tried the chocolate truffle one and it was heaven! It literally melts in your mouth, very very good! And now my hole is disappearing. I need to hit the gym soon or I will look like that Hong Kong actress in the upcoming new Channel U 10 pm show. Fat fat fat fat thighs. :(

Oh yah, my MP3 got confiscated when I was listening to it during a free period. Let me emphasise on the words 'free period'. What a stupid rule. No lessons, no teachers, and yet it was wrong listening to music. Then again, it was my fault, my neglience as a P.E. director, for breaking a rule that I should follow in my post. I feel very guilty and ashamed, don't get me wrong, but I had to write two apology letters. Like c'mon, what for? It's not like they believe me when I say it was my first time commiting such a mistake anyway, 'cos if they did, they won't be making me feel so awkward and disappointed with myself. Sigh. You tell me, suay or not. And to think that it happened on the second day of the opening of school! Spoilt my mood for the rest of the week.

That aside, Miss L is down with an operation for her sickness, she needs to rest for the rest of the year, and so Miss Y is replacing her in teaching 4C, D1 and D2 Bio! Is that awesome or what! Not awesome because Miss L is sick lah (I like her), but awesome because Miss Y is teaching us! I can totally understand her teaching, as always, and I will never fall asleep in her class 'cos she never fails to shoot me some sacarsm. LOL. And she gives us 2 extra huge gobstoppers she bought from the US each every 3-period lesson to keep us awake! YAY. :D

Anyway, watch this video! It's Raison D'etre (Jerrold's band) in the Z2H season 5 finals. Super great!



Update: The band's meeting up before jamming tomorrow to discuss the name and lunch. Hope it turns out well. And Noel is scary man, haha! (No offence dude, if you see this. :D) He told me to practise the songs by tomorrow in a (I think) strict tone. I practised a little of Face Down already!! I swear!! My eldest brother helped me though the one he knows is the screamo version!! LOL. Actually my bro does have a knack for singing. At least his tone not bad.

Update 2: COMPOSITION SIX? LOL.

Alright I got to go practice the songs- My Love Is A Stapler, Butterfly, Caka Girls, Lazy-something. Wish me luck, hoho!

To anonymous: I deleted your tag once already and you are back again. Seriously, are you trying to get to me so badly? I am not ruined by your tag you know, haha! Many people in my school (or maybe yours too if we are from the same school) have bands formed, and I don't see telling people or blogging about it as being 'action'. If you think so, then keep it to yourself, 'cos it is not a very nice thing to say people being 'action' when you are not even their friend eh? Come back again and crap, and I'll keep deleting 'cos your tags are just eye-sores.

This is a cliche last italic line: We are not good friends anymore, I can tell, and I am not going to try to make up anymore.

Date : Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Time : 8:59 PM
Title : We live in a greedy little world.

He's so hawt, really! This is the first time I am so gaga over a celebrity hottie. His dance moves are awesome, and the way he sings is so sensual at the same time. Haha, I think I am just saying that because I like him. The guys must be hating him 'cos most of their girlfriends must be so gaga over Kim Hyun Joong. He's really stepping up as the more obvious leader of SS501 after his Boys Over Flowers appearance. Good for him!



Anyway, Leon and I are kinda (well actually very) broke now and probably for the next few days 'cos we have been spending too much on vanity stuff like clothes, wallets, shoes, etc. He bought 4 outfits plus many other accessories over the holidays and I got myself at least a new dress/top every week. These are causing big holes to appear in our pockets. I know it sounds weird that I am being all bimbotic with my bestie who so happens to be a male, but that's the way we are. He refuses to admit it but we are like girlfriends. Lol.

Yesterday in school we were just helping each other to manage each other's finances, which is an irony 'cos both of us are not good at it. (I have $6 left in my wallet for the rest of the week and Leon has $0 for now- Due to excessive spending. Pathetic or what, haha!) Leon owes me $87, debts accumulated from last year to this, excluding the $26 he has to pay me for the lens we are ordering together online and the $9 for a friend's present. We are such spendthrifts man. We even had to give up purchasing the SYF photoprints 'cos we are so bloody poor. But not anymore 'cos Paul said we can pay on Friday, YAY.

I told Leon I will sell my Burberry wallet if I really really am damn broke for anything and he looked at me funny. Oh, and he totally ruined his new wallet with fabric paint. Always trying to act like a smart alec one leh he. Stripes (in brown fabric paint somemore) are soooo out of trend now bud.

Haha, I am like going on and on on our financial 'difficulties'. It's not that bad if we start planning our money properly like accountants anyway. I just hope we don't pull our hair out and kick tables in frustration and anger like I heard accountants do. Hehe. ;P

On to something else to update about. My room had an ant-war yesterday! 3 freaking ants came, kept crawling on my bed and made me think that the whole gang is with them. And I got punked. I threw the whole bedsheet out immediately in fear of a whole ant empire arriving and used the computer sitting on a lame computer chair with the laptop on a boring computer table. Tell me, how further mundane can one's life get? Lol, I am quite weird talking about this eh?

Today was alright. Millions of people came to show care and concern after viewing my post. So sorry I caused so much drama. Feel kinda awkward in the first few hours of school, but soon everything went back to normal. Special mentions to Christy and June! Thank you Christy for the longggg letter and the Hello Panda (my favourite chocolate, hehe), and thank you June for your post. It was rather shocking to see such care actually LOL. Xoxo y'all! I am fine and kicking now. Feels great ranting all that shit out. :D

After school Leon and I went to help Estee with her animation. It was really funny 'cos we kept playing with the wavepad and the script was cute, but then again it was draining 'cos we could not get the right kind of tone for around 2 hours plus. We ending up nua-ing there. Haha.

But I found out something that made me feel rather shitty for a small amount of time. I agree I have changed last year, too much. My blogging style, everything. But well, who doesn't? I am still the same person nonetheless. Less bitchy/fake and more real now, on my blog. I used to be so angry when I was told you guys bitched about me, but I am like, really fine now. 'Cos I understand and I feel the same way about myself, finally. I like my old self better too. Sigh. :)

Man, this post is lengthy, seeing that I am typing in paragraphs. It's the first time in ages I don't have to think about what to type and everything just comes out naturally. This is awesome.

O levels is in 72-73 days and Prelims is in 33-34 days. I need to find my motivation and a new place that is not so crowded where I can study. My parents are afraid of me getting H1N1 'cos nowadays I go to Starbucks so often, and Starbucks is crrrrowded. Someone tell me a nice, quiet, but not so quiet like the library 'cos I will fall asleep, place where I can study my heart out. I need it badly!! Can't believe O levels is coming so soon. Die die die.

Got to go. Watch shows and make orders for the Geo lens. Haha, irony as compared to the previous paragraph. That's why I need the motivation right! Okay bye. :D

WELCOME JULY!

Date : Monday, June 29, 2009
Time : 2:35 AM
Title : So it's night and people are feeling emo.

I think I am kinda crazy posting this. But fuck, I have got to finally have the balls to do it somehow or another someday. No regrets in life, that is my motto after watching One Litre Of Tears, haha. Anyway if you think you wanna comment your shit about this post, go ahead okay. Hah.

So I tried to stop blogging day by day consecutively, but guess I eventually failed. 'Cos eff it, I am here.

Why stop blogging eh, you may ask. (Or not. Don't know, don't care. Just an expression, damn it. God, why am I so freakin' defensive?) Well, I am not sure... I think? Honestly, for some time, I have been feeling very insecure about myself- The way I carry myself, the things that I do, etc etc.

It just seemed as though whatever I did will be deemed as lame, rubbish, nonsensical, unlady-like, childish, whatever it is, you name, I felt it. I know I know, so annoying, low self-esteem. I really don't wanna say what caused that uproar.

But for that period I just wanted to shut myself out from the virtual world. Close down my blog, quit Facebook and stop going online in MSN altogether. I want to remain anonymous to other people who used to be close to me, but isn't anymore. I did not want anyone of them to have updates about me, at all. Even now currently, I still have this mindset to blog lesser or stop blogging once and for all after this blog post.

Because of so many factors, I grew to hate this place, my blog which I have cultivated to earned hits over 100 per day. (Yes Paula, no more 70.) My blog which I had penned down on once, my deepest thoughts and views.

But now, seriously, I personally feel that every sincerity and truth is gone from me now. I kept harping on how much I blog truthfully in the past, but what really happened till this day?

So many things have came and went since the last time I genuinely felt good about myself. I am not even sure when this self-hatred started. Perhaps in the beginning of this year? When I thought as though my blog entries would actually reach out to someone, make the person realise what he's been missing. But fuck, in the process I find myself despising whatever I have typed, despising myself.

I find myself having to explain whatever I blog repeatedly to avoid more people misunderstanding my intentions again. So many people are calling me a virtual bitch because they think what I blog previously (apparently when I was in a relationship, wtf?) were all bitchy and mean. God damn it, I really don't wanna be affected anymore. I am a bitch in real life, if they can't accept it... So? I don't owe you guys a living anyway.

I find myself having to purposely take pictures when I go out with friends or when I am not out at all just to make this bloody page more interesting for the 100. This is so ridiculous 'cos pictures are for memories and not for advertisement. I used to post up pictures in fear of losing them in the future, but nowadays my intentions are clearly for the money I am making maintaining the hits in this blog. And to think that I used to deny my intentions. I am so pathetic. I know, I think so too, so you are not judging if you feel the same way.

I find myself having to use the computer everyday 'cos I feel an obligation to update my life to strangers. It's not as if my close friends really read my blog nowadays to get news about me. They are around me, so they know exactly what I am going through in life and all that crap.

And most frustrating and pissing is that I find myself having to act happy almost all the time because of the possibility that people are going to say that I am emo and you know I hate it when people say that.

Fuck, why can't people accept that I am a normal human being, and that even though I can stay strong when my parents are divorcing, my brothers are cut-throats and mentals and I used to have relationship problems, I AM STILL SOMEONE WITH EMOTIONS? So why must so many people bloody be shocked and weirdly teasing about it when I am feeling down?!

It's because of people like that, I refuse to show my sad side. I refuse to show that I am not strong. I am strong, I am. It's you people who made me weak by getting on my back all the time. It's not annoying, it's not irritating, it's fucking hurting. I need a life, will you guys give me one? Oh no, I don't think so.

Do you want people to tease you all the time when you are feeling emo? Obviously not. Then put yourselves into my shoes and freaking THINK.

Yes I know it's not entirely someone else's fault, but I am tired of taking the blame all the time for screwing up my life. For once, I want to put the fault on someone else. I feel so tired with all these burdens, trying to maintain my equamnity when everything around me is going haywire.

For once, I am saying this: I am not fine, I am not. This is Iris, the one who cries herself to sleep every night and stays up late using the computer because she is sick and tired of crying. The tears never seem to dry.

But one thing is for sure. I am NOT getting depression. I know it myself. The tears save me, because shedding them, I am better, much better, and I sleep. That process takes 3-4 hours. And I never was like that in the past. I was happy when I got to sleep. It was because I had goodnight kisses from my parents, a quarrel-less night to sleep in and someone to send me sweet sweet goodnight sms-es.

Now everything that made me is gone, and so am I. Gone gone gone. I have no idea where that happy-go-lucky girl went to. She just... Disappeared and refused to surface again. Friends who liked me for my strong and jovial side are slowly leaving too. They look at me with a jaundied eye and gossip about my sudden emo-ness throughout these months. Only a few true ones stayed. I guess these are the ones who are worth my time and effort.

This sucks, I am losing myself, and I hate it so so much. I need comfort, not just words. I need understanding, not just words. I need love, not just words. Why are all these so hard to achieve?

I am lonely. I may be surrounded by friends, laughter and joy, but inside, what I truly crave for is someone special to love me like they never loved someone else. I may be young, but thoughts like these still fill my mind. I am lonely. Yes I am. It's time to be true, once and for all.

I am sick of changing the way I type or anything else hateful I have been doing these past few months. I type in paragraphs usually and I love it that way. I need to find my old soul. This is definitely not mine. I need to change, to the past. Weird isn't it?

So this, this shall be it. This shall be the start of my blogging (or should I say virtual reality) lag. Lag because I won't be abandoning this place for good. This blog, all in all, still consists of some of my most beautiful memories in life currently.

However, I don't think I will update much. After all, O levels are coming soon- A perfect excuse to stop updating this shit so frequently. I hope you haven't been scared off by me if you are one of my close friends, 'cos what I really need now is your friendship. But you can choose to shun me away if you feel strongly to. I understand.

Now I need to pack my bag for school, and I need either some coffee or sleep.

Love, Iris.

Date : Sunday, June 28, 2009
Time : 12:00 AM
Title : Why?

My heart dropped.

Date : Friday, June 26, 2009
Time : 11:10 PM
Title : We laugh, we joke, we talk, we crap, we sing!

Overslept again. And I miss carolling all of a sudden. ~ :(

Joycelyn, me, Debbie, Leon, Shaun, Wei Chong, Eugene and Mark! O Come, Joy to the World, Silent Night, Jingle Bells, Medley- Angels, Hark!, Deck the Halls!

Sigh, memories worth thinking about. (I know I think a lot of times lah Mark! ._.)

And R.I.P. Michael Jackson. We'll miss you, the King of Pop.

Anyway, my eldest brother is back and he irritated the hell out of me over a pizza. Lucky he is asleep now.

Yaw.

Date :
Time : 2:45 AM
Title : SUNBURNS ARE DEVILS FROM FREAKING HELL!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!

Fuck my left shoulder blade is bleeding. Someone please tell me the cure to sunburns. Damn it.

AND HELL, I AM GOING TO SLEEP NOW AND WAKE UP AT 8 AM SHARP!!!!

"Sweet Relationship" a.k.a "美味關係" is so freaking awesome, I swear! ~



The kiss scene was a total tear-jerker, not like the other dramas', which gave me goosebumps.

YAY, VIC ZHOU SIBEI CUTE MANZ. :D *MELTZ*

Anyway, before I go, I really wanna know the answer to this question of mine, from this old old friend.

Hello, it's been long since I chatted with you. So long, so long, so long till I don't even remember when is our last real conversation.

The recent one didn't count 'cos we were both so awkward about each other's presence (I wonder why). I can tell, you were kinda reluctant to talk to me.

Hah, it's weird isn't it. We used to be each other's confidants (I think), and we used to be so so close.

You cheered me up when I was very down, you did. And you made me laugh when I was very bored, you did.

But now. I am aware, that everything must go back to before we became good friends. To before we realised how much fate we had as friends. However, I have a question.

Someone, in fact many people, told me something that made me think about this for the longest time ever. I forgot about it after a while, but it all came rushing back after... Well.

Answer this. Have you ever sincerely treated me as purely a good friend?

All the comforts, laughs, talks, walks, rides, etc... Were they present because of your pathetic ----- without --- by your side?

Tell me. 'Cos it hurts to think about the possibility that yes, it was the reason why you treated me so well.

I once thought that you could actually be one of my best friends, like Leon and WC, there for me without a motive, only because you honestly wanted to be my friend.

But. Imagine my disappointment when I learnt you were just like the person I told you (last time) repeatedly about.

Guess such sincere ---- like Leon and WC are hard to come by. I will treasure my besties from now on.

Psst!: I am very sorry that I cause your dearest girl such sadness in the past.

But think about it, you guys hate me now and I have nothing to do with that person anymore, so why are y'all still so mean about it?

You guys say we are arrogant, but take a look at who is the arrogant and egoistic ones before opening your big fat mouths and start to judge us.

If you all are not happy with me, come right up and say it. Don't drag the people around me together with me, 'cos unlike you guys, we cherish and own genuine friendships.

We love our friends. And it's not all words and no sincerity. Do y'all?

Date : Thursday, June 25, 2009
Time : 2:36 PM
Title : I am a boring person with weird thoughts.

LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY DAY! ~

Oh I feel so shitty right now.



Okay that picture is a contradiction.

Slept at 5 am yesterday (or today technically) 'cos I was up watching "Sweet Relationship" (nice show), so I woke up at 1.30 pm. Omg, I am an effing pig, I swear.

Argh. Now I don't even feel like going out. My god, I am compromising my plans man.

Ah, but Vic Zhou very cute!! :D :D He looks even cuter in "Sweet Relationship" than in "Meteor Garden", really.

Jerome is right, haha. Every show confirm got one eyecandy one, hehe.

So. SPA is postponed due to H1N1. Sigh. Horrible. Nanyang Poly (!!!!) and Republic Poly have already closed for a week of home-study.

Damn it, Nanyang Poly leh! Hope that the virus will be gone by the end of this year, so that next year when I enter the school I can go all full-force.

Haha, my wishful thinking of entering NYP man. Don't even know whether I will pass my O levels yet.

Yes omg, my thoughts are so disorganized again. Stupid sunburns that hurt very much when they come into contact with anything. They make me blur.

I like "Sweet Relationship"!!!! Learnt how to appreciate food from this show. So awesome. :D

So. I painted my already-rose-pink nails over with a shimmery glitter varnish. They (my nails) look kinda aunty-ish now, but I don't care 'cos they are cute!

Sad thing is, I have to take them out on Sunday 'cos school is starting on Monday. Sigh sigh, double sigh.

A Macdonald delivery man (very young! Around his 20s I think) just came to my house to deliver late-night food for me, my mom and my second brother.

He looks very sad and I really pity him for having to work such late hours.

But my mom said that night delivery people get extra pay so good for him! He totally deserve it for delivering our food asap and when it's still hot.

Don't why I feel so strongly for such things (like old people working in coffee shops, teenagers/young people working as delivery men, etc). It's strange huh.

Alright now I really got to go. I think I have been blogging non-stop for the whole day already. So annoying. This is just a combined post of all my lame thoughts.

Oh, and Miyuki, if you have nothing nice to say about me or to me, don't come here okay? I don't want you here if you wanna insult me.

Please, you don't even know me man, who are you to insult?

If Miyuki is your real name, then good for you, nice name. If not, then put your real name lah. Humji or what. Seriously. Wanna say bad things about people, say it with dignity and pride.

Don't hide behind a fake name (what's that word?). Hah, timid eh? Go away yeah. I used to think you were just a curious reader, but now I don't even like you one bit. GET A LIFE.

Good night y'all! <3

Date :
Time : 4:06 AM
Title : :/

什么时候才能停止我的眼泪呢?
我好想睡觉啊, 但是我一闭上眼睛, 满脑就浮现着你和我共享的回忆.
你还记得吗?

Date :
Time : 1:20 AM
Title : She is such a digusting flea.

Oh. My. God.

She thinks she is so pretty. She thinks she is so awesome. She thinks she is the best.

Oh. My. God.

Jealous bitch, she always is. I will never forget what she did to me because I got the things/people that she want.

Oh. My. God.

Date : Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Time : 9:13 PM
Title : Still burnt. Freaking painful.

I have learnt my lessons.

Long nails are enemies of contact lenses, and always bring sunblock when you go to the beach.

Damn it! The sunburns really hurt bad. When I woke up in the morning, I thought I had fever, AGAIN, 'cos I couldn't move at all. Body ached like sai.

Totally didn't go to Estee's place for her Animation recording (yes, I'm a character). Sorry LEON and Estee! I think Leon is super pissed. Hehe. :x



Anyway. Today is officially the scariest day of my life for a long long time. I swear if I can, I will never return to that same place ever again.

So long the memories that come along with that area. I will never put my pride and heart in such a risk a second time. Fuck the fear. Fuck it.

(Inside thing.)

My brother went to Butterfat a while back and now he's vommiting, having diarrhea, etc. He thinks he has got H1N1 influenza.

Told him that if he really has it, I am going to kill him.

Update: He's got food poisoning. -.- Bloody hell, scare me.

Also, loads of people have been saying how they wish for someone in our school to get the virus so that school will be closed for holiday for a longer period of time or something.

Saw someone I know with a MSN nick saying- I WISH SOMEONE IN OUR SCHOOL WILL GET H1N1 SO THAT HAVE EXTENDED HOLIDAY.

Or something to that extend.

Like, what the hell? It's not even a laughing matter okay. Besides, it's very selfish for the person to wish the virus on someone else so that he can rest more. Omfg, sounds ridiculous eh?

Hey dude, why don't you get H1N1 yourself? Then you can have all the holiday you want! Childish.

Studying tomorrow morning at Starbucks (Tampines branch this time) again. Hope that I will get good seats by the window, where the sunlight will shine in.

Paiseh to Mark, Estee and WC for not being able to join you guys at Ikea. Decided not to compromise my own plans, like Mr L always preach to us.

By the way. My class is finally getting the class hoodie done. The back of the hoodie, at the neck area, is going to have the words "NO TIME ALREADY".

As lifted from Joycelyn's blog, when we are doing our examination papers during O levels and look up, we can see the words on a classmate's hoodie, and we will chiong harder.

Pretty awesome huh? :D Our class is so creative.

Ah, I am hungry againnnn. Craving for pork knuckles, LOL.

My nails are now rose pink! And they are short! Hehe. Just now it was so much easier to take out my contact lenses.

'Way, I wore black stockings with shorts today and many cheekopeks kept staring at my legs. What, never see legs before ah?! Gross uncles.

Okay bye. I am going find something to eat.

Date :
Time : 2:08 AM
Title : Advertorial.

MY BLOGSHOP HAD BEEN REVAMPED!

Do have a look!

Things selling: F-cup cookies, vintage bag, magazine bandage skirt, basic oversized tee, swarovski crystals (for blinging up your stuff) and instocks (coming soon. Under construction).

Awesome right. ~

Feed me with money (oh, I need it) at HTTP://BRAINNNN.BLOGSPOT.COM now! Or simply click here!

Will love you to death if you buy something. Need money badlyyyy. Brother wants a stunt bike, and I just need it lah k.

Free hugs for friends!!!! LMAO. ;D

Date : Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Time : 11:41 PM
Title : I love my second brother, and I miss my eldest brother.

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY SECOND BROTHER!!!! ~ :D

(This is a very brother-infested post.)



He's the taller one. Yes, TALLER. Look how demoralized my eldest brother and I are. He's 180 cm plus while we are 165 plus cm and 156 cm respectively.

Anyway.

Second brother, you are such a bastard to me sometimes. But to be fair, I am a bitch to you most of the time too.

Sincerely sorry for everything kaobei-ish I have done to you. You know I don't mean any part of them. I just merely have my bad temper days.

You are a smart but lazy person, I am sure that you are aware of that. So don't tell me your life sucks or how difficult being in a JC is.

If you can ace your Mathematics all the way since primary school, I don't see why you can't do it in JC.

U is effing ridiculous for your god-sake standard. What IQ do you have, 100? You can score, darn well, but you are just too hooked onto the computer. Excuses much?

AND. If you utter one more word of bad things that you attempt to do, I swear I will never speak to you again.

You don't know how worried I am when you tell me of those things, whether true or false. Bloody asshole, if they are not true, don't scare me again okay. Not funny.

Love you very much, bro. Do well in JC, and in life. I feel that you are happy. I want to see you smiling. I want to hear you laughing.

Happy birthday, my dearest second brother.

~*~

I miss my eldest brother, officially. :(



Heard that he's not doing well in army from my mom. Am really worried for him. He just, can't seem to concentrate well.

Why do my brothers always make me worry? Fucking guailankias. Why can't they just live life happy and to the fullest?

Omg, I need a shoulder, a listening ear, tissues and I need to cry. I think I am numb numb numb.

Am I being ridiculous, or is God giving my brothers a hard time? I will open my heart if you want, but get off my brothers' back!!!! It's not fun to see them like this okay. Fuck.

Ah damn. :( I am so evil.

Date :
Time : 10:19 PM
Title : Burnt ketchup hotdog is my brother.

I am soooooooooooooooo effing sunburnt. :( My shoulders, back, arms and face are hurting and burning up like mad. Feels like I am having a fever, but I know it's just the sunburn.



You can't see it in the picture, but there it is, my #$%^&*()=+\}{€$@! sunburn.

My face looks like the grilled sausage I had in the morning, and my back, shoulders and arms look like the burnt chilli hotdog I had for dinner.

Yaw yaw, I am very hungry still.

Overall, today's outing to Sentosa beach was fun to the max. Our class (those who went) broke out of our little many cliques today and really bonded with each other.

Got to know many classmates better, namely Christy, Yu Qi, Xiu Wen, Zai Yong, Eugene (Ng), etc. Especially Christy! She's my mamasan for the whole day man. Awesome person. <3

Thank you for 'saving' me when I couldn't reach the floorbed of the sea, LOL!

Oh oh, I am so burnt. God damnit, it hurts so much. My shoulders and back, I mean.



Love my shirt? 'Try to think of rainbows'. Yes, everyone should, 'cos Iris = Rainbow! Yayness.

Gonna update more detailedly about our class outing when I get tagged on Facebook for the pictures. In the meantime, read this:

MY CLASS IS VERY AWESOME!!!!

Thank you very much. :)

Need to go off now. I hurt so bad, I can't type well. Before I go though...

GODWIN, YOU SHOULD NAME YOUR NEW PUPPY RAINBOW! Heck its colour, the name is awesome! How can anyone not be all head-over-heels for that name?

Not Rainbow? How about Lil' Iris? LOL.

Okay. Enough jokes. I'm off.

Date :
Time : 12:42 AM
Title : Camwhores like me!

I know I blog a lot in a day. It's so irritating to me too. But really, my Youtube videos are loading too slowly nowadays and I need something to keep me entertained!

No one talks to me online at this hour. I am an owl and my close friends are normal birds, not literally.

So I like to put pictures, of me. HAHA. What to do, haven't been meeting up with my peeps, so no pictures. Most of the time, I will be too tired and lazy to take pictures as well.

I think I become more camwhorish this year, don't know why.

By the way. CRAVING FOR RAMEN RAMEN. OMG.

Miss the days the old clique will go to Ajisen to dine after choir. Sighhhh. :(

Date :
Time : 12:17 AM
Title : Facebook madness is just not in me.

Haha, just tagged on Mark's blog.

Seriously, everyone is coming to me to ask how to quit Facebook 'cos obviously, I am superrrr not addicted to it like everyone else.

It's so simple. I can't imagine myself getting addicted to FB like everyone else. I really don't see anything interesting about it. Maybe I am just being judgemental because I hate it.

Mark, like I have tagged, stare at someone gross' profile or the person you like but do not like you back (what's the word?) profile.

Their statuses alone will make you hate even LOGGING ONTO FB.

But well, that's only for me.

I guess it's also because I am not into any games of FB. Haven't even played a single one before. No lifer, you may say.

But imagine someone sitting in front of the computer playing FB games all day. Now THAT is the no lifer. No?

(Kaobei-ed my second brother yesterday 'cos I saw him playing FB poker. He got sooooo angry with me. Well, me at him too!)

Then again, I think I am just being biased in my recount. Hoho.

However though, to be fair, I like FB a bit 'cos it allows me to put statuses and I can display it on my blog. That function is awesome, no doubt.

Still. ._.

In conclusion, FB? Not for me. At least for now. Maybe when I get into poly, things will start looking up for me in the FB world. That's why I haven't deleted my account.

Anyway, in the first place, LEON SIGNED UP FOR ME. Aha, yes. A big fat 'L' for anyone who tries to contradict me.

FB doesn't suck, though. I just don't like it. Peace to any crazy FB-lovers. You can worship the website all you want. I know I won't.

PEACE, FOR REAL. I really don't need people spamming me because of this post, 'cos seriously, it's not even worth your time. :)

Date : Monday, June 22, 2009
Time : 11:34 PM
Title : Ahhhh, I see 40 kg in my dreams.

Damn. Shouldn't have skipped gym. Joycelyn is weighing 46 kg now, a big improvement from her 54 kg before running 2.4 km and and cycling.

Maybe if I did the same things, I will lose 8 kg too? After all, I have a relatively high metabolism rate... No?

45 kg to 37 kg. Wow, that will be awesome.

I need the genie in the bottle to grant me my wish- Slim thighs like I had in the beginning/middle of sec 3, slim arms, and a freaking 40 kg.

8 kg is impossible. :(

Date :
Time : 6:59 PM
Title : White tank tops and outrageous high waist skirts.

Hello friends/passers-by/bitches/losers/lovers/haters! :D




Omg so awesome! ~ Go to this link: http://www.syfphotography.com/previews/dunmansec/dunmansec.html.

Paul gave it to me. There is a picture of Dunman choir SYF 2009 on the web. Yes, A picture. Just one.

And Mark's face is being cropped! Haha! Aww, such lovely memories... :)

Today, I went to Starbucks at around 1.30 pm to study Chemistry. I know I said in the morning, but I couldn't wake up! LOL.

Starbucks got damn a lot of effing young cheekopeks. Got girlfriend already, still ask for number. Bastard. You are lucky I didn't tell on you to your girlfriend!

But I am happy to say I finished notes for three topics of Chemistry. Mdm S will be soooo proud. "Where do you wanna go?" "RAFFLES!" (Class joke.)

Ah yes, I skipped gym. God. Shouldn't have. Look at alllll my fats. Oh, you can't see.

Tomorrow is the class outing of the year. Kind of excited yet anxious about it. What are we going to at booooooring Sentosa? ._.

But having breakfast with the clique (Leon, WC and Joycelyn! It's been long huh), I hope! Haven't asked all of them yet.

Update update: Joycelyn just replied. She's not goingggg, budget tight. :( Oh well, we are going to take lotsa pictures tomorrow together, for sure!

What should I wear tomorrow...?

My rainbow tee or my purple racerback? Slippers or flats? Damnit. Being a girl means having to be self-cautious and that sucks.

Alright alright. Going to watch "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" now. Amazing, really.

Bye. V(^-^)V

Date :
Time : 12:45 AM
Title : Pedicure vanity.

Finally painted my long nails. :D

In a nude shade of pink. Wanted to paint them black or some loud colour like red but I don't have loud colours nail polishes and big brother said having black nails is uncool.

Oh well. Tomorrow go buy green colour varnish then! Hehe.

I really need to take out my lens. I have been wearing them since 9 am.

My MSN is hanging since 12 am. Stagnant stagnant.

And oh. My course of antibiotics ends when I pop this last pill. Wish me luck that I don't puke it out!

Oyasumi. ~

Date :
Time : 12:24 AM
Title : Unintended. <3

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

Date : Sunday, June 21, 2009
Time : 9:11 PM
Title : Rice, eggs, prawns and more! *Drool*

Before anything,...

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY POP!!!! ~

You are the funniest, most vulgar, most interesting, etc father I have ever seen. Love you all the same. :)



I have fried rice (with my all-time favourite prawns!) waiting for me. Damnit, if I eat now, they will all drop to my thighs. :(

But I am hungry! Omg. This is shit.



Anyway. Tuition today was pretty alright. Before the 4 pm one, I got to chat with Zhouzhou for quite a bit while I was eating my late lunch.

It's funny that she's the only teacher (besides Miss Y lah) whom I actually feel comfortable talking to.

Told her about lotsa stuff. School, my brothers, my family, my friends, about City Harvest (LOL), etc. It was kinda cool.

Annoying fellow totally pangseh-ed me because my tuition ended so late. That asshole. Not even willing to wait.

I got to visit my old house today though! There was a break in between the Higher Chinese tuition and the Normal Chinese tuition, so I walked over to have a look.

Eff, the hopscotch ain't even there anymore.

But I did manage to sit on one of the benches in the lil' park behind. With a cup of Starbucks Grande Caffe Mocha in my hand, I read a bit of Physics.

Lovely weather. The wind was blowing. :)

Tomorrow, I am leaving house early for Starbucks again, this time for more serious studying.

Which branch should I go to? Tampines, Simei or the Jurong Point one? Ahhhh, I can't make up my mind.

Okay, I am going to go eat my fried rice now! Heck the fats. I will start the diet tomorrow... I think?

BYE.

Date : Saturday, June 20, 2009
Time : 8:02 PM
Title : Someone who won't hurt me.

I promise I will try. Oh oh oh, you annoying lil' one. :)

<3

Date :
Time : 4:31 PM
Title : Prelims from hell approaching.

Alumni choir practice today was pretty fun. Stressful and straining, but fun.

We went through the two songs today. Wanted to do another song called 'Lily-something', but it was too difficult.

Now, Mr T is considering 'Cantate' (._.) and 'Lux Fulgebit' for the third song. The opening piece is not decided yet.

Enough of that. Prelims is in 5 weeks! Oh my effing god. I really got to start studying for once, now that I am recovering.

My course of antibiotics ends tomorrow! Am soooo excited. They are the most horrible medicine ever. Bleaugh.

So anyway, Starbucks on Monday, I don't care. Anyone is free to join me. :)

Not to scare anyone or anything, but the H1N1 cases in Singapore have risen up to 103 already, with 3 people affected locally. Seriously, why is the situation so bad man?

Okay short post. Tooooooooodles. ~

Date :
Time : 12:51 AM
Title : YOU ARE OH SO PERFECT, FM. :/

Really, she makes me very very very envious. :(

She's pretty, she's smart, she's fun, she's everything that I'm not. And most of all, I think she's got something I want. So badly.

Damn it. This sucks. Hella. :(

I wouldn't even care if she is not related to me in any sort, but she is! And wth, why is she so bloody perfect?

Everyone's been telling me how pretty she is and that is really killing. I know I lose out on that, yes, thank you.

I need to stop visiting her blog for 'updates'. Look where it is taking me to- Feeling inferior.

Hella hella hella.

Date : Friday, June 19, 2009
Time : 10:49 PM
Title : Oh gym gym gym. See y'all, fats!

FORGET FATS! AM HITTING THE GYM WITH WC AND JOYCELYN ON MONDAY! <3 <3 <3 <3

Date :
Time : 9:44 PM
Title : Hello, I am Fatty #2.

Night studies is a big yawn right slap in your face.

Used to think it's cool, seeing all the seniors going back to school in jeans and whatnots. But seriously, anymore comprehensions and I think we can all choke.

I was awaiting the giving back of the composition we did last week. Sadly yet expectedly, not a hint of the compositions being marked finished was given. Oh oh oh.

Poor Mrs M, who is marking the whole cohort's scripts. I believe I did well though! (So why won't she mark mine first and give me back?) My plot was out of the ordinary at least... I hope?

Anyway, George and I went back to choir today!

Heard them singing Seasons Of Love outside the AVT when we were coming out from Bio SPA briefing #1000000000000 so I wanted to go back to listen more vividly without all the noise.

But when we went back after our mock SPA, they were singing 'O Magnum'. :( :( It is still one of my favourite Dunman choir songs nevertheless!

The guys were kinda soft... Still, they will grow out of it like WC, Shaun, Eugene, Mark and all did in time to come!

Oh oh, and Dexter is stepping into George's, Leon's and my shoes! We were SLs straight after the 2007 SYF and now it's his turn! Haha, jiayou xiao shuai-ge. ~ :D

(He play guitar damn shuai lah! Haha.)

So. It's the first alumni performance practice tomorrow and according to Mr T, seniors from batches as old as year 1995 are coming back to join us. Omg, can you feel our (us 7) pressure?

I mean, we were just two years old when they graduated! Arghhhh, confirm got loads more vocal training and experience than us manz. How...!

We are singing 'Verbum Caro' (the song composed for Dunman choir originally) and the Jap song the SLs trial-sang at Mr T's house end of last year. Mr T is considering 'Cantate' too. Eff.

Pray pray that he will forget about that song, and that he doesn't call my mom again! Thank you very much. ._.

~*~

Joycelyn and I were just bimbo-ing to each other about how fat we respectively are just now through sms.

She told me during choir camp this year that if you put your legs together when you are scrunching your legs up and you can't see a hole, you are officially fat.

If you get what I mean, go check!! Very important you know, physical appearance to a girl. 'Cos guys ah, they forever go for chiobus first. My second brother said so.

I know, he gives guys a bad name. Haha, like most guys don't think like that lor.

'Way, she said that her hole is disappearing. (Funny not! Haha! Sounds damn weird!) And like, I realised, mine too!!

So she is officially Fatty #1, and I am Fatty #2. WC is Fatty #3 'cos he not so fat but still relatively pui, LOL.

Ahhhh, I need to lose weight! I eat more, I eat less, also this weight man! Like what is happening to my metabolic whatever? Kill my thigh fats please!

45 kg go away, 42 kg come back to mummy!!!! ~~~~

Omg I am soooo ranting again. Very annoying.

Okay okay. This is going to be an abrupt end. I don't know how to end this blogpost when I am in a middle of ranting. Bye.

Date : Thursday, June 18, 2009
Time : 9:26 PM
Title : Class jokes.

Eugene (Ng) damn funny I swear! Hahahahaha.

Now he, Kim Meng and I are having a long conversation on Lcube's armpit hair, LOL. Freaking distracting you know, when you are sitting right in front.

Date :
Time : 4:38 PM
Title : Talk about ew.

How can you complain that people are copying you, when you are the one ripping off styles and ways of texting/blogging/talking from her?

Eeeek, never thought I will ever notice that, till now. It's disgusting, you know, to see two separate blogs but two completely similar views and characters.

Sorry for the many posts within a day. My thoughts are pretty disorganized, random and in large amounts today. I babble a lot when they are. Don't mind me.

Click on the LG phone ad please, tyvm. :)

Date :
Time : 2:30 PM
Title : MSN down, EBUDDY up.

ANYWAY, I AM ON EBUDDY 'COS MY MSN WON'T WORK. SOMEONE TELL ME WHY!!!!

Date :
Time : 1:30 PM
Title : Random whining.

Omg, I didn't know she was so fat!!!! =O

I know, like, who am I to judge right? I am fat too. Blah blah blah.

Okay, so I went back to school today. I think everyone was trying to isolate me so that they won't get my sickness too or something. Or maybe I am just being too sensitive.

Whatever it is. Back to school wasn't really a pleasant one.

Not when you have to complete two papers before you are able to leave, and that you have to take two trips to the toilet 'cos you thought you were going to puke.

Thank you to Christy for never-ending wishes and encouragement though. Appreciate it girl! :D

Figured that in most of my posts, I am kinda whining all the time (irritating, yes, I know), so here's for a change! No more whining.

Erm, so. The make-up shoot is sort of cancelled, I guess? Due to time constraints and all. But it's okay! Need to recuperate anyway.



I don't really like 'Poker Face' 'cos it sounds somewhat sultry in the bridges, but Jennifer Chung sings it ever so nicely, as usual.

Rumor has it that Lady Gaga is a trans. WC showed me a video once on how she explained during a talk show that she is not. Can't seem to find it, but she is pretty cool.

Man, if she was a guy before, that will really be gross.

By the way, for the testimonial I am supposed to pass up to Mr L ages ago, what do I put at the column "What do your friends think of you?"

What do my friends think of me: Slacker. For sure.

I can't have that in my testimonial! No one in the right mind will hire me seeing that in it. ._.

How about... Relaxed then?

Psst!: Class outing on Tuesday to Sentosa, can't wait! Stalk us fabulous people of probably the best class in the world if you want! What am I going to wear!!

Leon and I have a wardrobe malfunction! Need to fret with him on what to wear again, like we always do before major events.

Bimbotic, not? We are best friends, haha!

Psst! Psst!: My internet connection is so slow, 'Hell's Kitchen Season 2' won't load as fast as I want it to! I like Heather man. Not being a lesbian here, but she's hawt. :D

Gonna restart the lappy. And when will I ever call the person to fix my computer! I am sooooo lazy.

Date : Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Time : 11:50 PM
Title : Throat infection = Antibiotics.

Finally! I can feel that I am getting better. :)

My body temperature is no longer fluctuating, headaches are gone and I no longer feel horrible moving around already. Awesome!!

All that is left now is this stupid throat infection. I really hate antibiotics! They make me puke and cause all food to lose their flavour.

The taste of the night dose of antibiotics is still lingering in my mouth, omg. I need water immediately!

That's why I hate seeing the doctor. Something wrong with the throat, antibiotics. It's not like finishing the course will help me recover quicker or something.

And the pill is fucking huge! I fear swallowing pills since I was born. To add on, this one is enormous! Why didn't Doctor give me the capsule type so that I won't have to swallow the pill?

Anyway.

Doctor said, no singing choral music or anything that requires my high range for at least 2 weeks. That means if this saturday is a practice for the alumnis, my presence will be useless. Darn it.

This is one of the few rare times when I can't even reach the first damn note of O Magnum. What is this! D: Mr T will be furious... I guess?

If Mr T drops me out of the alumni thing because of the long hiatus I have to take from singing, I think I can kill myself.

I NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW, NO EXCUSES. GET MY SMELLY ASS (Not literally) TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!

Good night.

Oh, and I knew I shouldn't have bothered to look. :/

Date : Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Time : 10:32 PM
Title : New blogskin.

Haha, am I lame or what! ~



Have been wanting a skin which allows me to change big obvious quotes and the colour theme without much trouble. And also one which lets me put a visible title.

I dunno, sudden fetish for titles. Reckon I will get bored with them damn soon.

Anyway, so... Here it is! It's kinda plain really, but plain is the new trend eh?

Okay, bye. :D

I AM GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW, I AM!

Date :
Time : 3:19 PM
Title :

Argh, I feel horrible! Currently feels like I am having some incurable disease, or worse still, swine flu. (!!!!)

Haven't been so darn sick in such a long time already. This is really killing me.

Pop's been forcing me to see a doctor while mom's been attempting to feed me with whatever medicine we have at home.

Omg, can't eat well, can't drink well, can't sleep well... I think I would rather die if this continues.

I WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL! ~ Missed two days already, gosh. :(

Am going to have a packed weekend. Saturday- Practice/meeting with Mr T and other invited alumnis. Sunday- Shoot.

Fuck, get well soon lah.

/Edit: I am soooooooooooo craving for these!



M&M cookies! Omg, they are close to heaven, I swear! *Drools*